Click on the Pubs below for a review of each pub.
Walkabout Australasia Bar
Piano & Pitcher
The Bank Statement
The No Sign Wine Bar
The Adelphi Hotel
The Hogs Head
The Potters Wheel
The Orange House
The Old Duke
Shoulder of Mutton
Adam & Eve
The Kings Head
The Cross Keys
The Nags Head
The Village Inn
The Famous Bear
of the Rest
The Smoking Dog
The Exchange Bar
Guide / Sandfields area
on Wind Street (and other destinations)
Pronouced 'Wine' in homage to the Wine/bottle
of turps swigging, pidgeon eating people of the streets and the amount
of public houses that can be found on it, Wind Street is probably,
overall, the most popular and busiest street in Swansea. It's even
busier than Bonymaen Road on Dole Day!
as the public Houses of Wind St, on this page you will also find a
guide to the world reknown Mumbles Mile and also an unbiased,
impartial (until we are bribed) review of each pub and nightclub we
have been allowed in in Swansea.
here to view some pics of people
testing the produce of some of the pubs mentioned on this page.
This page will undergo constant updation so be sure to call back soon
and if there is a pub which you feel needs to be reviewed email
me or send in your reviews.
you have any thoughts on how this guide can be improved or have any
comments on what has been written here please email
or leave a message on the board.
Winelodge, Wind Street
Yates is another franchise pub so I guess there isn't much difference
between this one and the Yates Winelodge in Lower East Bude you
were in last Friday night.
For the benefit of those who have never been to one, expect a decent
enough food menu, expect to be stinged at the bar and a variation
of hits music wise.
Yates also sometimes sponsor live events in the adjacent Castle
Square which can be good and they regulary play host to 'touring
sensations' which I hope are usually better than the Ali G impersonator
who I saw last year and was complete wank.
Verdict: 8.0 Jam
Yet another theme bar but most Australians and a lot of Jacks dont
give a Townhill xxxx for any other bar. Walkabout is prob the best
bar on Wind St. You will find good music, excellent food, good deals
on booze (mon - thurs), good atmosphere and more Tv's than Swansea
CCTV office. Best place for watching the ball games but has the
shitest bogs in Swansea. I think they took the Australian theme
too far as the bogs are like something from Prisoner Cell Block
H - where are the fucking seats and what's the aftershave stall
Verdict: 8.8 JR
Only been in here whilst clean off it but from what I can recall
it is the type of place where Gary Glitter would be in his element.
Verdict: 6.7 JR
are some further amusing comments received about ICE bar. To be
fair, since the above was written ICE has changed big time. It
is now twice the size that it was and on weekends has pole dancers
for your viewing pleasure and on weekdays has vacant poles for
you Sam Tan impressions. Well worth checking out!:
think that u should go in club ICE and comment on the tits on
the poles the tits behind the bar and the tits on the dance floor!!!"
Update (20/2/2002) Here are some comments
received from DJ Quicky about the ICE review. I have not been
there for ages so he is probably correct and I did hear on the
train back from Orient that one of the pole dancers slipped and
fell off the pole during her set a few weeks back so it might
be worth a gander:
think that your review of the Ice bar on Wind street needs Urgent
Updating as Its Is now been extended to include a new dance floor
area with resident DJ Quicky playing some of the most up to date
dance and pop tunes accompanied by what can only be described
as the hottest sexiest fittest thong wearing pole dancers in Wales
(see em to believe it) on a Thursday through to Sunday Nights
and from 15th march until 1a.m. also live singers on selected
nights, that toped off by the Palace garage nights and other special
events upstairs Sorry to say that Mr Gadd would not like it in
here now as he may find it a bit busy on the weekends but who
am I to say I Just work there. Check It out for your self."
Steve Quick (DJ Quicky) I.C.E.
The Bank Statement is a Wetherspoons outlet which
booze, decent & cheap food but no tunes.
place is ok for a quiet jar/meal during the week but it can get
overcrowded by crusties at the weekend so I would advise you to
get there early, get fuelled up and stumble onto another place at
8.03 before the place turns into a walking graveyard.
Verdict: 8.3 JR
Square, Wind Street
Once again, yet another theme bar. The square is home to Paris esq
bar prices and probably the biggest waste of space in Swansea -a
huge cube of rotating TV's which always seem to be on bloody mute!?
Worth checking out on Wednesdays when the cocktails are 2 for 1
but is too expensive most of the time and is full of hairdressers
looking for rich, grey haired Miami Vice lookalikes.
Verdict: 7.2 JR
I have only graced the place with my presence twice - once on
a Sat night and once at 3.49 on a Sat afternoon for lunch with
I wouldn't recommend a visit after dusk as from what I saw there
were too many wedding rings and grey hair on display and repeat
plays of 'YMCA' and other 80's classics isn't really my cup of
Despite this, the menu is pretty varied including things like
Morrocan Chicken and Panninis and the portions are big and good
value so is worth a visit during the day.
Bar, Wind Street
UPDATE April 2004:
Since the below review was written the pub has now changed its
name but the prices, music and clientel have basically remained
the same so this isn't really much of an update I suppose.
It's also become popular with postmen too.
Yet another bloody chain pub which means cheap lager, 2 meals
for a fiver and blah blah blah. This pub is usually packed at
weekends with Valley boys and the Barons crowd (i.e over 40's)
but it is worth a visit during the week as due to the cheap ale
and no music policy it tends ot attract some of the local nutters
and war hereos plus....it is now the infamous Magoo's local! Yes,
it's true, since his banning from the Potters Wheel Magoo has
been spotted here plying his unique trade of buying 2 pints at
a time, abusing the staff, shouting random sentances and deafening
the pub each time he talks.
Verdict: 8.1 GZ
No Sign Wine Bar, Wind Street
Probably the oldest bar on Wind Street and one of Dylan Thomas'
old haunts.The decor has probably not changed much since his day
but the clientel and price list most certainly has. The bar is
now backed onto/combined with Indigo and as a result tends to
attract a mixed crowd from seasoned wine conniseurs, American
poetry fans through to 'serious' clubbers.
A cuban/mexican/peurto rican - I dont fucking know
styled trendy bar. A haven for stunning birds and punters who
are only just the right side of drinking age. This is known for
selling absynth (the 70% stuff which is not legal to buy in britain
and not the watered down version you can get in Tescos) and absynth
cocktails. You are only allowed 2 shots of absynthe per night
as they stamp your hand to show this, and at 4 fucking quid a
shot you wouldnt want more than 2. I tried one of the cocktails
they do and it was
the most foul tasting mixture of RANCID BROTH I have ever had
the mispleasure of consuming, they must realise it tastes like
filth as they put egg white and caramalized sugar into to try
to prevent you from hurling after taking the first sip of this
elixir of swampshit, I dread to think what it would have tasted
like otherwise. Teabags bath water would probably taste better.
Apart from that a fairly good joint atmosphere wise and the music
is of the cuban/mexican/ peurto rican variety. An outdoor patio
is also a feature of the place and is the order if the day when
crowded inside, the weather is
hot and so are the chicks. Rather expensive prices and a lack
of space are the down side.
If you've just had your 30th birthday and need to get
severely laid, Subterania, after pub closing is where you need
to pack up your dunkies and head to. The first thing you will
notice is that the place is underground, and smells like my bathroom
when the central heating packed up in the middle of Winter. Musty
smells aside, the place is a pretty groovy cellar, with copius
tea lights, giving the place the look and feel of a mid 80's bachelors
bedroom who has watched 9 and a half weeks once too often. The
clientel? A mixture of resonably well off 40-50 year old lusty
divorcees/adulteresess with newly found freedom looking for young
meat! Like I said, good for your 30th birthday, even if its the
second time you've celebrated it.On the whole a great place, but
very hit and miss!
KIngsway/St Helens Road
Situated just across the road from Spoofers nitespot. Flanagans
is meant to be a restaurant with a late license. This comes in
handy on Sundays as the bar stays open until midninght. Beware
of the tine pokey little stairs that lead up to the bar as there
is just about enough room to walk sideways up them. Usually this
is a haven for dreggs and slappers who just do not know when to
call it a night and go home to their 1 bedroom flats in Mayhill.Good
prices at the bar if you can get to it as it is usually very busy.
A club located on the Kingsway roundabout. This club is unique
in the fact that the whole of one side is windows and you can
see out onto the town centre. A decent enough venue, but not an
overly popular one. Lets face it the only time I general(zod)ly
go there is if I've hit the pubs in jeans and then decided to
go clubbing. Not exactly a whole host of choices on a Saturday
night if you have jeans on as it is either Spoofers or the delightful
Rocket (what a fucking choice eh!!). Expect the usual high prices
and selection of chart (s)hits. An essential club if for some
bizarre and inexplicable reason you want to know the time in New
York, Tokyo and many other such worthless hovels of cities as
there are loads of clocks all over the place. They also show videos
a la You've Been Framed constantly on a big screen, and lets face
it when looking for a good club you always go for the one showing
mishap videos dont you............NOT!!
Another Wetherspoons pub and therefore another very cheap and
music free venue. You can get 2 double vodkas and a can of red
bull for around a fiver, so excellent scenes and a pub you can
get wasted in cheaply. Grub is also favourable with the fiscally
disadvantaged and you can get 2 meals for a fiver also. Oddly
named guest beers are the fare of the day in this joint. Names
such as blunderbuss (named because this is the effect it has on
your arse when you next take a dump) and reverend haddocks
third nipple are commonplace. Attempt not to prance about behind
the bar or throw glasses all over the shop as this is likely to
Beware the regulars who include Magoo, a veteran of the battle
of little big horn who wears glasses as thick as SS and looks
like a retard in a raincoat
He stands against a pillar and is known to omit irregular shrieks
and muttering utter bollocks to himself and makes very peculiar
arm movements like tommy cooper used to before he kicked the bucket
(wont be long for magoo now either)
The biggest club in Wales is situated on the Kingsway and is kind
of the kindergarten of clubs for virgin beginner clubbers. This
is where most of the teenagers go and it is packed on a Saturday
night. A very expensive club as you will be lucky to get a bottle
for less than £3. So before you venture into this den of
extortion ensure you arrange a small bank loan prior to making
your presence felt here. A very large club which is very impressive
until you have had 146 nights out there and become a little jaded
with the surroundings, but until then you will be loving it loving
it loving it.
Plenty of room to wander and stagger about in your inebriated
state. The bouncers are quite funny as well with their quotes.
The best one is when you are queueing up to go in, so ensure that
when you near the door you have your hands in your trouser snake
adjusters. Then wait and you will hear the words "Aaarnddsss
owt aya pockets gents" uttered forth in a broad Cockney accent
and you will guffaw your pants off.
A club right in the heart of clubberland on the Kingsway. A theme
club which is more like being in fucking Butlins than in a club.
When you go in all the staff are dressed up as cowgirl/boy type
characters and when there is nobody to serve at the bar - all
the bar staff have to get up on the bar and dance along to the
inevitable range of chart bollocks - what a shamer eh??. I have
been told that the staff here have compulsory dancing lessons
each week to keep up their high standard of prancing about. To
be brutally honest they are about as talented as Boyzone were
dancing on that Gay Byrne irish programme that you laugh your
tits off at on 'Before They Were Famous'with Angus Deayton. The
club is very expensive which is in line with most of the other
clubs in the area. They have tribute bands on stage regularly
who almost always massacre the originals. The last time I was
there and I was sober enough to remember the act there was an
Abba tribute singer onstage. I have to admit that they were fucking
abysmal and were about as good as Cilla Black on a bad day (now
that is bad!!!)
An ABSOLUTE DEFINATE SUCCESS!
Verdict: 9.13 Mark
pub in the middle of the Kingsway, which attracts people on lunch
hours from the numerous surrounding banks and building societies,
so expect the clientelle to be a bunch of bankers of the highest
order. A pub in the style of the old Rovers Return from Coronation.St.
with lots of 'snug' type areas for a bit of privacy. Dont expect
to see Ena Sharples or Ken Barlow debating t' price of t'hotpot
and t' price of t' jaffa cakes thou knose. The service is excellent
as when you are coming to the end of your drink the bar
staff come over and ask if you want another drink and get it for
you as well. Reasonable prices and traditonal Irish food is on
the menu. A starting off pub and not really a wild night type
heaven and another South American themed bar (owned by the same
people who run Indigo and are from Penclawdd). Loads of different
types of cocktails on offer here and you can either buy a single
cocktail or varying sized pitchers full of the easy to drink,
but ultimately thoroughly intoxicating colourful mixtures. This
is primarily a restaurant as the bar section is very small and
the eating part a lot bigger. The food here is excellent and the
atmosphere is also very good. The prices are rather expensive,
but an occasional visit here for drinks is likely to be on the
cards as there is no bar like it in Swansea. When the weather
is good the windows fold back and you can sit outside and have
your drinks. You can also buy expensive Cuban cigars here, Long
Island Iced Tea, Multiple Screaming Orgasm etc they do the lot.
It is a good idea to get 2 or more different types and try new
ones out. So next time you've got a big pair of jugs in your hands
you may be in Cafe Mambo or you may not - you just dont know
Old Duke, High Street
Contary to popular belief, Swansea does in fact have a zoo and this
is it! An absolute must visit place wedged full of Swansea's finest
including the likes of Mad Mike and Richey Franklin (pictured above).
On a recent visit there with a nurse from Cefn Coed Mental Hospital
the place was described as "worse than my ward" and that
probably just about sums the place up!
Verdict: Current Best Pub on the Planet Jam
A club in the dodgy part of Swansea which blends in perfectly
with the sheer lack of class of the surrounding massage parlours
and smelly tramps.
Upon entering you will initially be overwhelmed by the stench
of piss and BO from all the metal/goth dudes and dudesses who
frequent the joint.
The music is pretty good if you are into Heavy Metal and Indie
but the volume is not high enough for this type of music and is
begging to be cranked up several notches. Prices are fairly cheap
and you can turn up looking like teabag and you will be the best
dressed person there. Mostly blokes here and not exactly a plethora
of stunning beauties, in fact more like a gathering of boilers/wenches
in metal t-shirts and fucking blokes with painted nails... yeeuucchh!!!
avoid the bogs at all costs as you usually need a
fcking snorkel and flippers to swin through the 3 foot of piss
and do not drink beer on tap, stick with the cans/bottles/spirits.
I need say no more...
Bush, High Street
A fine establishment even if one of the regulars insists on wearing
lipstick (pic above) and the bouncers keep following me to the toilets.
Recently taken over by one of the boys so is sure to go from strength
Verdict: 8.2 JR
Office, Castle Square
Probably Swansea's best live music venue with live music most nights
of the week (including live christian stuff on Sunday nights), a
good jukebox and the added bonus of the place being popular with
Due to it's City centre location and the Bus station being located
nearby this pub can be the setting of some interesting scenes.
Aswell as the incident with the Rocking Sikh, this pub was also
the venue where some bloke tried to sell us a 1997 williams renault
watch in 1999 claiming it unique and from the 1999 season and
went berserk when we didnt want it and was also the venue of Marco's
short lived rock career ; one night Marco decided to
get up and dance in front of the empty pub to some dodgy band
singing over tape music and later bought the 'guitarist 'a pint
of guiness and performed some dirty dancing with some 63 year
old fossil - Amusing scenes indeed! A good place for a lunchtime
drink or a last pint before you catch the bus. They also serve
food too and best of all, it is ROCK night each Friday!
Pub who's name is taken from the famous, bizzare Dylan Thomas
play 'Under Milkwood'. Name aside, unfortunately the pub bears
no similarity to Llareggub in decor nor does it pay host to any
familiar characters but it is ok for a lunctime drink whilst shopping
and for a bite to eat and has a big screen to watch the ball game
on. Also the Carling doesnt taste like coloured pigeon piss unlike
most pubs in the City Centre.
"I have to say i think you should do a review of Top Banana
on a sat night/ sunday morning it is the best place I have found
for the after club session (apart from karate club). We leave
newport and head for evolution every sat and somehow we get drawn
to swansea please give it a mention !!" Carli
Well there you have it! The last time i was in there however it
was like the world wrestling federation royal rumble as the bouncers
from around swansea elbow dropped, gauged, smashed each other
over the heads with pool cues and generally brawled with each
other - much to the bemusement of the smashed clientel. I have
not been there since but if people are travelling from beyond
the Eastern Bloc to go there it must be pretty good.
Exchange Gay Bar, The Strand
Woo Hoo! Me and my lovely friend Wacker had a lovely time dancing
in the Exchange Bar but the two party poopers we were with wanted
to leave as there wasn't enough women in there!!!??? I'll definately
be back soon though!
Verdict: 111+ Gary Evans