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The Teabag Tribune
has recently tested out a startling new device for the discerning Saturday
Night Kingsway Cruiser.
Developed by local inventor Herbert Scrote of
FannyFinder
Technologies this machine really does take the
sweat and toil out of fanny hunting on those cold lonely nights in
Swansea, especially when you're absolutely kakkered and you really feel
like a bit of the old codshead before you wend your drunken way home to
Winch Wen or Brynmill.
The "MINGEOMETER"uses technology
originally developed in the Gulf War as an anti-chemical weapon facility.
It has now been adapted to detect minute atmospheric aerosol fanny juice
molecules.
Satisfied customer Cosmo Scraggs (pictured right)
says:
"I took the "MINGEOMETER" camping with me down the Gower
and I was only using it for 3 seconds and scored a direct hit straight
away! I don't have to waste energy using my good looks, undoubted charm or
even my wallet anymore, I just press the mingefinder button and I am away.
Wow! Thanks FannyFinder
Technologies, I can now have my hole every night of
the week FREE! gasp pant"
FannyFinder
Technologies have organised a Swansea
Mingeathon for the evening of August 18th, bring along your
"MINGEOMETER" and join in the fun!!
Starting off outside The
Plough in Morriston the designated Mingeathon route will take you past The
Siver Dollar, The Hafod Inn and The Lower Lamb (all guaranteed scraggy
bint locations), finally finishing up outside The Westbourne at 11pm.
There will be prizes of:- A free nights board in an Oystermouth Road B n B
(of your choice) for the smartest bird detected:
and.....
A crate of
Stella Premium for the first entrant to pick up Tattooed Sheila
CAUTION! USE OF THE MINGEOMETER IN SWANSEA MARKET (ESPECIALLY NEAR THE COCKLE STALLS AND OTHER FISHMONGERS) OR MAINWARINGS FRESH BAIT SHOP IN SKETTY, MAY GIVE ERRONEOUS RESULTS
CUSTOMER
ENDORSMENTS
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
Satisfied "MINGEOMETER" customer #1, Cosmo Scraggs, shows
off the results of his first direct hit
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
Satisfied "MINGEOMETER"
customer #2, Edwin Cadaver, on honeymoon in Northern Tibet with one of his
first "finds", he says, "She's sensitive, intelligent and a fabulous laver
bread gatherer."
All the customers
above got those amazing results with the MINGEOMETER Mk
I
GET YOUR VERY OWN MINGEOMETER HERE.........FROM ONLY
£300,000,000*
FannyFinder
Technologies
|
MINGEOMETER Mk
I |
MINGEOMETER Mk
II | |
|
|
 | |
|
PRICE |
£300,000,000* |
£400,000,012.99p* |
| Features |
Three big blue buttons to fuck
about with. |
Loads more buttons,
longer handle, AND a number two painted on the
side. 0.00007 ppm fanny juice detection rate Direct Hit rating: Beaut Cracker Model Hollywood Starlet |