Cockles.....The Truth
Common cockles are marine gastropoidical invertebrates (Cockleus Snobocus Snotticus). They are usually harvested in coastal areas where the local inhabitants have nothing else to eat.

Being considered a delicacy in such places as Korea and Nepal has pushed the price of the comman cockle up to such a level that the usual consumer has had to resort to eating the next best thing....white dogshit.

The financial incentive for cockle gatherers is such now that frequent bloodthirsty battles break out on the beaches near Crofty and Ferryside.

The situation has calmed somewhat since last December when Penclawdd Parish Council hired 12 Chechnyan Mercenaries to protect the valuable sacks of freshly snared shellfish from marauding cocklesnachers.

MOLLUSC MADNESS
Specially trained nurses attend Swansea Market ready to give mouth-to-mouth to white dogshit overdose cases.
THE COMMON COCKLE
(Also included in picture, the price you will have to pay in Swansea Market for cockles weighing about a fifth of a fucking nanogramme)

WHITE DOGSHIT
Preferred by most Pencys as an alternative protein source, 175 calories per serving. 450 calories per dumpshot.

ISLAMIC MERCENARY ISHTAK MOHAMMED GUARDS THE COCKLERS.
Says Ishtak, "I am prepared for heaven! Allah loves all Mollusc Martyrs! Anybody got a waterproof prayer mat? It's nearly bloody 12 o'clock!"